is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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