Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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