I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Welp...herpes.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
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she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I think my moral compass just broke
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