So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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