I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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