I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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