Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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