grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
