you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
