we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
just tell him i said nine months
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
