I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Your tits are I can't wait for
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
