I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
