they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
