he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
