Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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