This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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