8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
