What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
