oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
