So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
