so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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