He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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