Midget sex pt 2 tonight
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
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I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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