well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
