Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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