I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
