Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
