weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
