I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
