have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
