He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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