if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
