I like my sex mixed with concussions.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
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