my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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