oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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