Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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