everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
