I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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