bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
