As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
