I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
