he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
