He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
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you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
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Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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