..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Randomize
