u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
