I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
