what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You pole danced in your parka.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
