WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
