Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize