You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
