Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize