Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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