We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
