Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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