I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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