covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
