oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
