So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
