I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
