im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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