I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
