Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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