guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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