she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
