how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
