it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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