sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
