I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
