i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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