in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
